What a week for showbiz! Too much has happened for me not to blog about it and make some sort of inappropriate comment that’s likely to get me into trouble somewhere down the line. Here are some of the biggest celebrity stories hitting the headlines over the past week.
- Peaches Geldof has admitted that she threw up on a date whilst on a roller coaster. I’m sorry but I must say that my biggest concern wouldn’t be for her bloke, but for the hundreds of innocent people down below who have to spend a week washing carrot chunks out of their hair! If you thought the beginning of Final Destination 3 was sick… oh, pardon the pun!
- A Masterchef contestant chops part of his finger off. Well, come on, who are we kidding? This was bound to happen someday wasn’t it? In fact, not to be twisted but isn’t this sort of thing the reason why we watch these programs anyway? I for one am still waiting for Virginia Wade to take a tennis ball to the face at Wimbledon. So what if Murray wins? Some things are just more entertaining!
- Britney Spears reveals that her and her boyfriend Jason Trawick are a normal couple who do normal things like watch movies and work out together. Work out together? That’s not normal surely! I can’t think of anything worse than my other half watching me fail in my efforts to keep up with Challenge Anneka on the treadmill next to me and pretending he doesn’t know me when I’m listening to my iPod and suddenly forget that I’m not alone in my room and treat his ‘workout buddies’ to a Katy Perry Firework chorus!
- P.Diddy is going to be the stylist for the American Idol finalists. Sounds great on paper but I can’t seem to shake the image from my head of X Factor’s Mary Byrne in baggy jeans, a 2-Pac t-shirt, baseball cap and Mr T necklace. It’s just wrong.
- Kelly Brook admits she no longer uses fake tan due to an orange disaster she had using it. Well I think it’s safe to say, that until I look like Kelly Brook, I’m more than happy to keep applying it. Even if I do look like one of those kids from the nineties who drank too much Sunny Delight!
- Brooke Mueller who is in the process of divorcing Charlie Sheen has claimed that he threatened to cut her head off and shave his ex-wife Denise Richardson’s hair off. I might be getting my priorities slightly wrong here but if I was Brooke, I’d be complaining why I had to be without my frickin’ head whilst his other ex-missus managed to get away with just a measly crew cut!
- A lock of Justin Bieber’s hair has sold for $40,668 on eBay. To me this is just stupid money to pay for the hair of a 12-yr-old! To be honest I think it’s just sick! Not that I’m bitter that the most expensive item I’ve sold on eBay is my Buffy Season 3 Boxset for a fiver – but at least my customer could get USE out of that! Although, thinking of it, how much do you think I’d get for auctioning off Keith Lemon’s head?
- Taylor Swift is dating Chord Overstreet. For those reading this who aren’t Gleeks, Chord Overstreet plays the gorgeous lemon-juice-haired, Quinn-loving football-player, Sam. He’s new to our screens and was the newest edition to my TV Totty List. The sad thing though is the minute they hit my list, they’re shacking up with some other gorgeous, talented celebrity with shampoo-commercial hair and off the market. From here on, I’m going to place these specimens on a separate list entitled Horrible Mingers who Smell and Stuff. NOW watch my fortunes change!
- Cheryl Cole is unlikely to become a judge on the US X Factor because people don’t know who she is and can’t understand her accent. If this really is the case then there’s no hope in hell for me to ever crack America with my crazy Welshness! Geordies definitely have one of the coolest accents in the British Isles, if not, the Northern Hemisphere! Well at least Cheryl talks out of her mouth. They took on Piers Morgan over there recently but not sure how they understand him as he sure as hell doesn’t talk out of THAT orifice!